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| Saying "no" can be holy. |
Last night I said to someone, "No is a complete sentence."
They were sharing about the experience of being recruited for something they weren't sure they could do at this point in their life. They counted the ways it might not be the best thing for them.
My response (see above) was snarky, to be sure. But if there's one thing I can't abide, it's people not accepting "no" from people other who need to say it.
OK, so the above is hyperbole. There's plenty I can't abide. But I can count on one hand the times I have tried to persuade people to stay on a committee or board. Two. I can remember two occasions in the past seventeen-plus years as a pastor, twenty-three years serving in ministries of the church, when I tried to persuade someone not to step down.
The first was a board member who wasn't sure they were in step with the rest of the board. They often had a different take from the majority. They felt they were usually the lone voice speaking out against something everyone else was eager to do, and wondered aloud to me whether we should find someone more like-minded. I told them I valued that in them. I told them they were highly respected on the board, and that their words carried weight. In told them, even if the board voted differently than they would have liked, their views made a lasting impact. I told them, I didn't want a rubber stamp board, that diversity of opinions was critical. They stayed.
The second was someone who was feeling frustrated with the committee work. I tried to persuade them to stay for the sake of another member, whom I thought they could help. But in the end they chose to leave, and I supported it.
I support people stepping down from church leadership positions, because leadership is hard, and draining, and takes time away from other things, and I don't think any volunteer service should be a life sentence.
I'll say that a little louder.
No volunteer service should be a life sentence.
Today's devotional card from @sanctifiedart* reads,
REMINDER
FOR THE DAY
Saying
"no"
can be
holy.
The prayer goes on to pray for the ability to say "no" to things that "steal my joy, steal my energy, and steal my sense of self." Oh, Amen, and Amen.
May we all find within us the capacity to say a holy "no" for the sake of our well-being, our joy, our very selves.
*Throughout Lent I will be trying to write here--no promises of every day! Some of the thoughts I will be sharing reflect the themes of A Sanctified Art's Full to the Brim resources for Lent. I will indicate these by use of *. Today I mention the devotional, which is fantastic.
