Lent Day 4: No Mistakes

Megan Follows as "Anne of Green Gables,"
a photo for which I hold no copyright,
but I hope no one gets bent out of shape about it.

I didn't read the "Anne of Green Gables" books as a girl. I simply never heard of them. I read "The Bobbsey Twins," "Cherry Ames [Does Every Possible Thing a Nurse Can Do, in 87 volumes or so], "Little Women." But no Anne for me, not until I was a 31-year-old mother of two.

That's when I propped my daughter up in front of the videos of the Megan Follows version at a time when she was still learning to sit up (my daughter, not Megan). It was Thanksgiving, and it was just us two that year (ear infections had grounded her; her dad and brother had flown to California to be with family). 

The series was delightful and distracting, and I became a fan of the smart, stubborn red-headed orphan who found two people to love her after a harsh start in life. I also became a fan of her tenacity--in everything she tried, started, wanted. And I found in her a soul sister when she uttered the famous words,

“Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”

I woke up this morning wanting to fix what I wrote yesterday. It left me with that uncomfortable feeling that I really screwed up. I have this thing I do, when I'm dwelling on something I said that I regret, or that makes me cringe, or for which I had a Hermione-Granger-type time-turner, so that I could go back and do it better: I let out a big, audible sigh, and it ends with UGH.

UGH. I hate this feeling. 

I'm going to resist the urge to try to fix what I said yesterday, though, because I am resisting the idea that I have to do something perfectly or. at least fix it and make it perfect when I realize it's not. 

I worry for Anne of Green Gables (for, of course, she is alive and trying somewhere--that's how I experience fiction). I worry about her feeling about the fresh new day because I imagine what it's like for her when she realizes, Well, there goes that. To be clear: I worry for her because I know exactly what that feels like! 

I think mistakes are not the same thing as, say, sins. And even sin isn't what we think it is. The word "sin" in the Bible comes from Hebrew and Greek words that are associated with archery or target practice. In scripture, "sin" is "a miss," as in, I tried, but I missed the mark. Scripture tells us that God assumes we tried.

The reminder for the day in my devotional cards* is this:

Faith is a 
constant
returning to
God. Each day
we get to
practice again.

I did not express myself perfectly yesterday. I will try to do better today (and try to avoid beating myself up with "perfect"). I love and serve a God who does not demand my perfection. Today, I get to return again, to practice again.

I hope I get it right. But if I don't, I will probably be able to try again tomorrow.

~~~

Throughout Lent I will be trying to write here. No promises of every day, but a sincere effort, that I do promise. Some of the thoughts I will be sharing will reflect the themes suggested by @sanctifiedart's Lenten series "Full to the Brim," I will indicate these by use of *. Today I made reference to their Lenten Devotional. I am loving it.